The Glist
by PurtFiend
Summary: Kurt is absolutely desperate to get his name on the glist so he enlists Puck's help to become an A lister. Rated M for marvelously slashy.


**I was in the middle of another story when this idea hit me after watching "Bad Reputation" I just had to publish it. I hope you like it. I don't own Glee. Please keep me buoyed and content with lots of reviews.**

**The Glist**

"Noah, I would like you to hear me out before you belt me." Kurt informed Puck after tapping the larger boy on the shoulder to get his attention.

Puck finished placing his books in his locker and gave his full attention to the young soprano. _This should be interesting,_ he thought. "Okay Hummel, what do you want?"

"I would like you to kiss me."

Puck grabbed the boy by his Cheerio top and pulled back his fist to hit him.

"I haven't finished yet," cried Kurt cringing, not wanting to get hit.

"Do I look like a fag to you?"

"No! It's nothing to do with what you look like! I want to be on the glist!"

"Glist? You mean the Gleek list that went up yesterday?"

"Yes! You're number 3 on the glist. I'm not even on it but I want to be. I tried very hard to go from a C lister to an A lister. I was disruptive in the library and that didn't work. I now have a gig at the Presbyterian Church on Sunday. I faced Sue Sylvester and took the blame for posting the video of her and she thanked me. I have tried to think of anything that would be considered bad-ass so I could get on the glist. I suddenly thought that kissing you would do it. It would help both of us."

"Exactly how would it help me Hummel?"

"Just think, all those girls you have kissed and done whatever with and you are only number 3. You'll have to either find more girls quickly or do something risky and kinky such as kiss a guy. That should shoot you up to number 1."

"Huh, and you kissing me, the high school stud, would get you on the list as well."

"Exactly! The thing is, we would have to be caught or discovered for this to work."

"Hhhmmm! I'm going to have to think about this. Is that it?"

"Yes, I suppose."

"Good, so I get to hit you now." Puck grabbed Kurt by his shirt again and raised his fist back. Kurt just scrunched his eyes up and waited for the blow.

Puck laughed and ruffled Kurt's hair earning himself a squeak of surprise and outrage from the flustered boy. "Hummel, you are hilarious!"

"You're not!" Kurt shouted after Puck as he watched the jock saunter down the hall.

* * *

Kurt was sitting on his own at a table in the cafeteria waiting for Mercedes when Puck suddenly appeared in a seat beside him.

"Okay Hummel, you're on. But I think we should change it up a bit."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't think a simple kiss will do it. I think we should be caught with you blowing me," whispered Puck

"What! You want me to give you a blow job?" Kurt hissed. "No way!"

"Hear me out, will ya?"

"You would do anything to get off, you man whore!"

"Hey I'm sixteen! It's been weeks since I've had a good blowjob. Santana's being a cold-hearted bitch and Quinn won't even entertain the idea."

"Oh boo hoo! You just want to get out of kissing me."

"Ah news flash! You're a dude, I don't kiss dudes."

"Yet you'll be happy to receive a blow job from me." Griped Kurt disgustedly.

"Look at it this way, if we get caught kissing, people won't be that shocked. They'll most likely think we're involved in some airy fairy romance. You'll face a lot of ridicule and no doubt get slushied and for what – a slight possibly making the list? Probably under Rachel who's at -5? And me? I might even slip down the list. But, if we get caught with you blowing me, that's raunchy, sexy and scandalous! You'll may still get hassled and slushied but we'll most likely be first and second on the glist ahead of Santana and Britney that's bigger bang for your buck. You'll definitely be A list"

Kurt's eyes widened, he hadn't thought of that. Puck had a good point and Kurt was extremely competitive. He finally said, "I can't fault your logic Puck." He then blushed and said, "the only thing is, I've never given anyone a blowjob before. I don't know how to do it."

"Nothing to it, you just open your mouth and I fuck your face."

"yuuuck! You certainly have a way with words. Can you be anymore disgusting?"

"Hey, I know what a princess you are, I'm actually being polite compared to how I normally speak," smirked Puck. "Oh great! Your pitbull girlfriend is coming over here. Do you want to meet me in the guys washroom in twenty minutes? There should be a lot of traffic in and out after lunch."

Kurt sighed,"I suppose, we might as well get it over and done with."

"Fine, see you there!"

Kurt waited in the washroom all tense. _Puck had said in 20 minutes, where the hell was he?_ He pretended to rearrange his already pristine hair again as a guy came in, used the urinal and left. _Oooh gross! That guy didn't even wash his hands!" _

Puck breezed in the room a few seconds later. "Alright! Should we get started?"

Puck walked up to Kurt quickly unbuttoning his jeans and unzipping his fly.

Kurt paled and was about to tell Puck that he didn't want to do it anymore when Puck eased his penis out.

It was huge and already twitching and swelling up. Kurt couldn't help but stare and lick his lips. "Umm have a condom?"

"What?"

"I want you to use a condom. I have no idea where that thing's been. Oh never mind, I've got one here somewhere." Kurt started to search through his bag.

"Ever the optimist, eh Hummel?"

"It always pays to be prepared," remarked Kurt sagely. When he found what he was looking for, he sunk to his knees in front of Puck.

After covering Puck's dick, Kurt tentatively flicked his tongue out and licked the side of Puck's shaft. "Aaghh come on Hummel! Don't dick around. Get on with it!" Puck pleaded.

Kurt grabbed the shaft and placed his mouth over its head and started to swirl his tongue around. "Jeeezzzz!" groaned Puck.

Kurt smiled and sensed he had found a new unknown power. He started to work on Puck's cock with a lot more enthusiasm and was happy to hear the groans coming from the larger boy.

"Oh God! Oh yeah! That's good! That's good." Puck moaned enjoying the sensations. Suddenly Kurt stopped.

"What the – Why'd ya stop? "

"Nobody's coming."

"No kidding! 'Cause you stopped! Keep going, I was almost there!"

"No I mean no boy has entered the washroom since we started. We're supposed to get caught."

"Com'mon Hummel, there will be someone here soon, you can't just leave me like this. I'm dieing, pleeeassssee! whined Puck.

Kurt sighed and continued with the job before him. He took Puck in his mouth as far as he could and started fondling the jock's testicles. It took hardly anytime after that for Puck to climax.

"Oooohhhh! Fuckin' A! That was amazing. Hummel, you're a natural!" Puck replied as he threw the used condom away and started to pack his now flaccid member back into his pants.

"What happened? Nobody came in to discover us! That's so annoying."

"Don't worry, maybe we just misjudged the time. Why don't we do it in here again just before morning classes tomorrow. There will be a lot of traffic then, you'll see."

"Very well. Shall we meet at quarter to nine?"

"Yeah, sounds good."

Kurt was about to leave the washroom ahead of Puck but the larger boy stopped him by grabbing his arm. "Maybe I should leave first," suggested Puck.

"Why?"

"You should take care of that." Puck replied indicating Kurt obvious erection. "It's pretty prominent in that Cheerio's outfit of yours."

"Oh yeah, I guess I should stay behind."

Puck left the washroom and when the door closed he took the **'Washroom Closed For Repair'** sign off he had tacked on earlier and grabbed the yellow plastic warning sign he had placed in on the floor beside the door.

* * *

Puck loitered in the hall outside the boy's washroom the next morning. As a boy emerged from the washroom he asked the kid if there was anyone left in there.

"Just that creepy Hummel kid. He just seems to be hanging around in there."

"Thanks Bud." Once the boy had left Puck quickly tacked on the **'Washroom Closed For Repair' **sign on the washroom door and kicked the plastic yellow warning sign beside the entrance. He then went in to find Kurt.

"What took you so long!" exclaimed Kurt " I've been here for ages! The guys must think I'm a pervy stalker."

"That should help get you on the glist."

"Ha, ha."

Puck quickly undid his jeans and stood in front of Kurt. "Brought my own condoms this time," he announced pleased with himself.

Puck's eye's almost rolled up inside his head as he leaned back against the sink counter. Kurt was phenomenal! If this is how much he improved in just two sessions, what would he be like when he was experienced.

"No! Don't stop!" Puck pleaded as Kurt suddenly pulled back, just when he was at the brink.

"No one's here again. How can the main boy's washroom be empty in the morning before classes?" mused Kurt out loud, ignoring Puck's whining and whimpering.

"Who the hell cares! Just get me off, please!

"There really no point in continuing," came Kurt ominous reply.

"No point! You're blue-balling me here! Don't be such a bitch."

"Calling me a bitch will hardly make me want to continue." Kurt retorted crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow.

"Okay, okay, look, I'll jerk you off after you finish me off. You'll still make the glist if they come in and see me with my hand on your dick."

"That sounds fair, I suppose." Kurt got back to the blow job and Puck sank back into sweet oblivion.

"Yeaaahhhhh!" Puck shouted as he climaxed long and hard. It was so good. Kurt was definitely a diamond in the rough. Kurt was better at blowjobs on his second try then most girls were on their 20th. It was most likely because he had a dick of his own and knew what felt good.

Shit! Puck suddenly remembered that he had promised to give the kid a hand job. It crossed his mind to just leave and let Hummel sort himself out. It's not like this could go on forever. Hummel was a smart guy, he was already suspicious of the lack of boys in the washroom, he will most likely figure it later today or tomorrow. Then the shit will hit the fan. He'll go all psycho Diva on him and make him feel two feet tall with his razor sharp barbed tongue. What if he cries? Puck suddenly was struck by a bad case of the guilts. Man it was really shitty of him to con the kid like this. Maybe he should give Kurt a hand job so he gets something for his troubles…

He watched Kurt as he came back from throwing the used condom in the garbage bin. Kurt just stood in front of him obviously not sure what to do. Puck realized that he would have to take the lead. The jock pulled Kurt close to him by grabbing the boy's waist, he then turned both of them around and backed Kurt up against the wall. All the while Kurt just stared up into his face with big gentle blue green eyes. Puck eased open Kurt's pants and moved his hand inside his underwear and felt for the boy's hard cock. It was kind of interesting holding onto another guy's dick. It was different but not dissimilar to holding his own. It had the same velvety soft skin around the hard shaft. Kurt gasped and swallowed when Puck first held it and as the jock started to lightly move back and forth the Cheerio moaned, closed his eyes and gripped Puck's shoulders. Puck moved in closer and Kurt wrapped his arms around Puck's neck with his head falling to the side. Puck could see every little expression of pleasure on Kurt's face as he brought the boy closer climax. Kurt would lick his plump lips, and let out a little sigh or his eyes would flutter open and he would look up at Puck with half closed lids. Puck decided that he really liked Kurt's face and wished that Kurt would look at him with such ardor all the time. Kurt was making little gasps again and was tensing up. Puck knew it wouldn't be long now. He picked up the pace a bit with his stroking wanting it to be perfect for the soprano. When Kurt's mouth sagged open a bit and his red tongue rubbed against his bottom lip, Puck couldn't stand it anymore. He moved in and kissed Kurt passionately, slipping in his own tongue to meet with Kurt's. Kurt immediately responded and kissed back, moving one of the hands around Puck's neck to his face and cupped his cheek. It was so hot Puck could feel his own heartbeat quicken and felt the blood race to his crotch. An instant later Kurt climaxed loudly. Puck felt ridiculously pleased with himself.

Kurt opened his eyes and looked into Puck's with a quiet intensity; the jock had to look away. "You kissed me, even though I'm a dude," stated Kurt leaving the question 'why' unasked.

Puck just shrugged and mumbled "It made you come faster, and we're late for our first class as it is." He moved back away from Kurt's embrace and turned and left the washroom quickly, taking the stuff he put up with him.

The thought of Kurt climaxing and the image of him kneeling before Puck, pestered the jock all morning. He couldn't believe how hard he got kissing the other boy. He was still hard and really horny. Around noon he admitted to himself that he wanted the boy again and soon. He quickly texted Kurt and they agreed to meet in the boy's washroom at the end of the day. Puck assured Kurt that boys would be using the washroom before they left for home.

Kurt was happily eating lunch with his friends when Finn dropped the bomb.

Kurt suddenly had a coughing fit, causing to Finn to slap his back to help him loosen the irritant.

"Can you repeat what you said?" Kurt asked when his diaphragm finally relaxed.

"I was complaining about the main boy's washroom, what's with it always being under repair? It was closed at lunch yesterday and again this morning. We all had to use the smaller washroom on the second floor. It's a pain."

Kurt was livid. _That bastard Puck, he conned me…"_

* * *

After classes, Puck again stuck the 'Washroom Closed For Repair' sign on the washroom door and moved the plastic yellow warning sign beside the entrance and then slipped into the washroom. Kurt was waiting for him.

"Well shall we get to it?" Kurt smiled up at Puck.

"Okay" Puck said a little uneasy. He didn't like the look of the fake smile on Kurt's face. He had seen it before; it was a smile that didn't reach his eyes. Puck quickly ignored his misgivings as Kurt moved towards him and started undoing his jeans for him. The Cheerio was soon down on his knees and was all business, pulling out Puck's hardening cock and deftly easing the condom on.

"Ohhh mannn!" Puck moaned as Kurt sucked and moved back and forth. Kurt was getting better at this exponentially. Puck loved how Kurt fondled his balls. This was going to be good…

"Aagghh! Don't stop! What are you doing?" cried Puck as Kurt suddenly pulled away at the very moment of his climax. Puck's cock was quivering and painfully swelled with blood waiting for release.

"Funny! Again there are no boys coming in."

"Jeez! Forget them! Why do you always pull away when I'm about to climax!"

"I dunno, maybe it's because you're a lying manipulative ass!"

"What the – "

"No boys will come in here because there's a sign outside telling them not to!"

"Ooohh!"

"Imagine my surprise when Finn started grumbling at lunch about the boys' washroom being under repair, yesterday after lunch and this morning."

"Look I'm sorry Kurt! Just finish me off and we'll talk."

"We can talk about it now!"

"Com' mon Kurt, you can't be that cruel. I'm in agony here."

"Nope."

"Look I didn't want guys to come in and interrupt us, like you're doing now. Oh never mind I'll do it myself." Puck made a move to grab himself but Kurt was much faster. He grabbed Puck's member and held it, tight enough to keep it hard but gave it no other stimulus to help Puck out."

"Okay, okay Kurt, what do you want from me?." panted Puck.

"For trying to con me, I want you to blow me."

"I don't do guys."

Kurt moved closer to Puck's face, their lips almost touching. "Like you don't kiss guys? I was there this morning Puck, I felt your rock hard cock rubbing against my thigh. Just admit it, you were aroused by kissing me."

Puck licked his dry lips, his eyes were locked onto Kurt's blue ones. "Okay fine, just let me climax and I'll give you what you want."

"I don't trust you."

"Well I don't trust you. You're just bitchy enough to walk away and leave me like this after I go down on you."

"Looks like we're at an impass."

"God! Kurt please! I said I'd do it." Puck was becoming quite aroused by Kurt's forceful attitude.

"How about 69? We can then go down on each other and climax simultaneously."

"That actually sounds kind of hot."

"Get down on the floor."

While Puck got down on the floor on his back, Kurt quickly removed his pants, uncharacteristically flung them over a bathroom stall and quickly put on a condom on his erect penis.

He carefully placed his knees on each side of Puck's head and moved toward the jock's rock hard cock.

Puck tentatively took Kurt's dick in his mouth and swirled his tongue around it.

Kurt gasped, shocked by the sensation of Puck warm wet mouth. Heat from his groin seemed to flood his body with pleasure. Kurt made a throaty moan because his mouth was full with Puck's cock. The sound vibrated against Puck's shaft and sent a wave of excitment through the jock. The flow of giving and receiving pleasure circulated between the two boys as they brought each other closer to climax.

The two of them lay on the floor, mouths working hard to stimulate the other the boy. Kurt started to circle Pucks anus with his finger and Puck massaged Kurt's ass cheeks as they climbed faster and faster to the crest. Kurt finally came first and his long throaty moan was enough to have Puck climax quite quickly afterwards. Both of them were spent and panting from exertion.

"Kurt!" Gasped Puck after he removed Kurt's spent condom, "Turn around and come over here."

Kurt did what he was told and hovered over Puck's face. Puck enfolded the boy in his arms and kissed him passionately.

"Thanks Kurt that was amazing!" Puck murmured after finally breaking the kiss.

"It really was, wasn't it? Kurt replied moving in to kiss Puck again.

"I see your inner bitch has been satisfied." Puck said smiling.

"Yeah I guess. Nothing like an incredible orgasm to take the edge off."

"Look Kurt, I'm sorry about the stunt I pulled. Because of me you won't get on the glist."

"Oh the glist, about that, there won't be another glist."

"What are you talking about?"

"Quinn confessed to Mercedes that she came up with the glist. She has promised not to do it again."

"When did you find this out?"

"Don't be mad at me. Mercedes told me yesterday at lunch."

"Wait a second, that means you knew there was no glist before we did anything."

"I was going to tell you yesterday that I didn't have to blow you to prove anything, but then I saw your magnificent penis and I just wanted to see what it was like."

"So all this time you were conning me."

"I guess so, but you wanted it so bad and I wanted to look like a badass even if there was no list.

"You bitch! There I was feeling bad for conning you!"

"I'm sorry, I guess I was just as manipulative as you. Giving you a blow job was fun, but I wanted more, I wanted you to reciprocate."

"You're lucky it was so fucking hot or I would smacked you down." Puck said with out rancor.

"Hmmm - smacking sounds kind of interesting." Kurt smiled suggestively at Puck.

Puck squeezed the soprano affectionately. "You might not be on the glist but you're pretty high up on my plist."

"Plist? I suppose that stands for Puck's list? Compiled of all the girls you dated? It must be a pretty long plist."

"It's all up here," Puck tapped his head "And as I said you're almost up at the top, right after Petra Poppowell."

"Who's Petra Poppowell ?"

"My very first sweetheart. I teased her horribly for week, calling her poo poo Poppowell or Popposick. Then suddenly I had this overwhelming urge to kiss her. Which I did and she belted me, told me I was a stinky boy and started to cry. She totally broke my heart. We were six years old."

"So you're telling me, I'm behind a six year old on this plist? Charming!" replied Kurt sarcastically.

"Hey, she was my first love and heart break. There are very few girls that have surpassed her and certainly no boys."

"Well I hope you don't mind but I take this as a challenge. I plan on surpassing Petra and getting to the number one spot on this plist of yours."

"So does that mean the boy's washroom will be always unrepair for the imediate future?"

"What can I say, I'm very competitive." Kurt stated as both boys moved to kiss once again.


End file.
